Authority Issues

Often I have pondered my own conflicts with authority, whether overt or withheld from the knowledge of others. I would like to explore my thoughts on this topic by first describing some personal experiences, then delving into the spiritual implications such conflicts may have.

Minor Conflict Examples

Many of my conflicts with authority have been rather minor. One example was in second grade, when I was called upon by the teacher to answer the question, “What time starts a new day?” I have always been an independent thinker, so although we had been taught that a day starts at midnight, or 12:00 AM, my concept of counting numbers caused me to want to believe a day starts at 1:00 instead. Begrudgingly, I answered correctly, “12:00,” because my desire for academic excellence trumped my stubbornness, and I was glad my teacher at least acknowledged happily that I had retained the knowledge she taught. Nonetheless, it was such an unpleasant moment for me that I never forgot about it.

Another example is when I was on my 8th grade trip to Washington, D.C. In the bathroom I had briefly set my camera down on the sink while I washed and dried my hands. One of the teachers/chaperones picked it up asking whose it was, wanting to make sure it didn’t get stolen. When I told her it was mine, she used the strap to place it on my neck. “I don’t want it on my neck,” I resisted, because I preferred to carry it in my hand, but admittedly the words that came out were not the ideal way to express my preference. She called my behavior “rude”, which has since left me with somewhat bittersweet memories of her, because she was otherwise my favorite teacher in junior high school. Of course I respect and appreciate her intent in trying to keep my camera secure, which is why I let my initial resistance dissipate more quickly than it otherwise would have, but calling me “rude” was deeply offensive to me.

When the Rules Don’t Suit You

Following are a few of my more significant conflicts with rules to which I was subjected. These conflicts sometimes escalated to the point of rebellion – or at the very least an extremely strong desire to rebel.

“Inconvenient Rules”

In junior high and high school, the administration had 3 rules which were so distinctly against my preference that I deemed them the “inconvenient rules”. At this point I cannot remember all three of them, but #1 was “No eating in the classroom.” I can understand some of the reasons for this rule (such as the noise being distracting to the teacher and students and/or the food making a mess in the classroom), but sometimes I got pretty hungry during the course of the class. Plus being able to keep my hands busy when I am not actively taking notes actually helps me focus on what is being taught.

Rule #2 was “No students in the classroom without a teacher.” Again, I can imagine good reasons for this, but for a well-behaved student such as I was, none of those reasons would have even come to mind if I had the room to myself. I just wanted a quiet place to eat or think or read or study, or cry as the case was later on in high school. Thankfully, there were many occasions when I was the only one in the room other than the teacher, which gave me sufficient space to do whatever I needed to do freely.

Without going through my old school things (which I do still have) where I have the “inconvenient rules” written down, I am currently unable to remember the third rule. I recall it being a bit more complex to summarize than the first two, though. If my memory is ever refreshed on what that rule is, I will update this post accordingly.

Midnight Outings

When I was 17, almost 18, I sneaked out of my mom’s house in the middle of the night to see a boy – twice. There simply wasn’t enough time to spend with him during the normal evening hours. On one of those occasions, I walked past a house in front of which was a guy working on his car. The guy asked, “Are you an angel?” I said no, but he kept staring in my direction for a while, as if he were listening to someone else, someone I couldn’t see. Upon reflection of the encounter, I concluded that there was an angel protecting me along the way.

For whatever reason (and my mom later told me even she doesn’t know why), in spite of my mom’s awareness that I had gone out, I was not punished for it. I am very thankful for that, although truth be told, whatever the punishment might have been, it likely would have been worth the time I enjoyed with my friend. In this case, of course, there was no conflict with my mom in the way of being disciplined, but there was certainly disobedience in the act of going out past my curfew.

Dislikable HOA Rules

A current example is my residential community’s Homeowners’ Association (HOA) rules, some of which I dislike so passionately one might say I despise them. Before the reader has a chance to think, “You chose to live in a HOA community,” I must state that I know we signed acceptance of and agreement to comply with the rules set forth by the HOA, but I have frequently wondered what might have happened if I had signed the agreement with the rules I dislike crossed out.

When they sent a letter in January 2018 telling residents to take holiday decorations down, I had a good mind to hand-shred that paper to bits in defiance. Honestly, who are they to tell us when holiday decorations are okay? I also seriously considered posting signs against the HOA in common areas, but thought better of it. One thing I would like to do eventually is somehow get at least one or two of the rules voted out, but as long as we don’t get any more warning letters I think I can mostly be at peace with them.

Choosing Humility

As trivial and unreasonable as my disagreements with certain HOA rules may be, fighting the urge I have sometimes had to act publicly on them is important. The HOA is an authority under which I consented to live, and more importantly, an authority God has put in place. My lack of freedom in the HOA community, relative to a community that is not governed by a HOA, is not something about which it is worth complaining – especially at the expense of my testimony to the public as a Christian.

Romans 13:1-2 says, “Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves.”

If I rebel against my HOA by not following rules I don’t like, that means I do not agree with the authority God has placed over me and I unnecessarily create conflict between God and myself. It also sends the message to my neighbors that I disrespect rules that may have influenced their decision to live here and, if they know I am a believer, may cause them to question my sincerity and commitment as a Christ-follower. Further, if and when my hypothetical rule-breaking is reported, that would result in the receipt of more warning letters I hate, if not fines. Therefore, it behooves me and my neighbors, from both a civil and a spiritual perspective, for me to heed God’s word in Romans 13 and choose to “be subject” to the established rules, to comply humbly and willingly with them, rather than rebel in any way.

Conflict with Scripture

A longer term struggle I have had is with certain parts of the Bible, particularly passages related to the man being the head of the woman, such as the second half of Ephesians chapter 5. When I heard such verses in school, my heart cringed and I thought to myself that I would need to somehow reconcile with the passage later. However, I would forget about that until the next time I heard the verses, so even now I have not fully decided what I think about them. Thankfully, my husband and I took a class (Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs) that clarified the heart of the message.

Before I discuss the passage itself any further, I must share a little about the point of view with which I listened to it. Hopefully not sounding conceited in saying this, I was blessed by God with a high capacity for intelligence and a scientifically oriented mind. Although emotionally I yearned deeply, desperately for a boyfriend/future husband, mentally I fancied myself independent and able to take care of myself. I harbored feminist inclinations – not to the extreme level of activists, but certainly in favor of equal pay and empowerment in traditionally male-dominated fields such as my chosen career path of engineering. However, I also enjoyed being in the minority in my study because I preferred to be around guys much more than girls most of the time.

Essentially, according to Dr. Eggerichs, when Ephesians 5:22 says, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord,” the command is for wives not to let their husbands dominate or walk all over them, or even let them have the final say no matter what, but simply to show them respect and appreciation for the things they do for their household. This explanation made the verse much easier to accept, even embrace. Considering verse 23, “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body,” I still find myself wrestling with the body imagery. The head is my personal favorite part of the body, so to think of anyone other than myself as the head feels like undermining the gift of intelligence God gave me.

But the Bible also says it is not possible to serve two masters (Matthew 6:24), and having two heads on one body – which would be the case if I tried to take the role of head of our household in addition to my husband’s rightful role as such – would be like creating two masters for our household to serve. As much as I prefer the head to any other part of the body, I must choose to humbly embrace God’s design for me as the rest of the body while my husband takes his responsibility as the head. It is a big responsibility too, one that requires wisdom, care, provision and protection, and God helps him fulfill it very well.

So again, as much as I would rather think of myself as the head, instead I get to be the shoulders and knees, arms and legs, hands and feet, hugging and walking with and otherwise supporting my family as we follow Jesus together wherever He chooses to lead us. That is an amazingly wonderful life to live, and it is my honor to be a part of it in accordance with His design, as prescribed in scripture, the ultimate authority.