She’s Alive

While reading the last chapter of Anchored, the Bible study for bereaved mothers written by Erin Cushman, the founder of Hope Mommies, this song began to enter my heart and my mind. Personally, I didn’t struggle with the question of why God allowed my daughter to die before she was even born, but I know many other Hope Moms have heartbrokenly demanded, “WHY?”, a sentiment which is reflected in the first verse.

In the second verse the lyrics start to come more directly from my heart, briefly describing the intense battle I experienced in high school against unrequited love, to the point of limerence that resulted in absolute devastation when I realized the one I loved would never return my affection. To be clear about “saying goodbye” as written in the verse, I did not seriously consider suicide, but if I didn’t have a strong knowledge of who God is, I probably would have. I did lose my will to live, aside from believing God had better plans for my life and deciding to press on to allow those plans to be fulfilled.

It’s deeply healing for me to be able to express my thoughts and feelings regarding these sources of grief in my life in one piece of writing. I can declare God’s victory over the most difficult of battles in life and even over death by singing this song with which He inspired me this week. What makes it better still is how this is the very first song I’ve written for which I am also writing background piano music. Once the background music is complete, I intend to record myself playing and singing the song and update this post with the link to a YouTube video where anyone who wishes can listen to it.

She’s Alive
Give me freedom, give me rest
From the heart pain, the bitter test
All I can do is look to You
I know You know best
Pick the shards up off the floor
Help me see the new open door
A broken cry, the question why
Will dominate my thoughts no more

Hallelujah, she’s alive 
Not with us, but in eternal paradise
Take heart, my soul, and run after the prize 
And sing hallelujah, because she is alive 

Where’s the light, now, in her eyes?
Every time rejected by her number one guys 
To make it through, to pray is the only way 
And before long, she’ll realize 
That a decision must be made 
One that is never to be downplayed 
Whether to stay alive or just say goodbye 
And how the price is to be paid 

Well, hallelujah, she’s alive 
She’s chosen hope and is relearning how to thrive 
No one’s more worthy than her Jesus Christ 
So she sings hallelujah, because she is alive 

See that mother who lost her daughter?
She knows an Other who walked on water 
And shares his triumph even over death
Now ask that unrequited lover 
How she was able to recover 
She knew her Savior had more for her before her last breath

So hallelujah, she’s alive 
From everlasting joy she’ll never be deprived 
To live worthy of her calling she will strive 
And she’ll sing hallelujah, because she is alive
Forever hallelujah, because she is alive 

Creation of Rachel Wood, inspired by the Lord God Almighty, © 2020