A Letter to Emily

My dear, sweet, precious Emily, surely you know this already from how much I kissed you on the day of your birth, but I must start by telling you I love you very much. Your daddy and I were so pleased to find out you would be a little girl, and we were looking forward to raising you as our beloved second child and little sister to your adorable brother Peter. It was a surprise when we found out you had a heart defect, but we trusted that God would protect you from what we were told was a potentially lethal outcome, that He would keep you alive so we could have you with us for many years to come, as planned.

Although He took you home to Heaven much sooner than we would have chosen, I am thankful that He gave us the 26 weeks we had with you. Every kick, punch, flip, roll and other little movement you made inside me brought a smile to my heart as well as to my face and visions to my mind of what joy you would bring to our lives as you grew. I want you to know that you absolutely were wanted, by me, by your daddy, by your grandparents – really, by everyone who knew of your existence. It is true that I sometimes became a little annoyed when you seemed to be doing somersaults when I was trying to sleep; perhaps I didn’t pray for you as often or as fervently as I should have in the light of your physical condition; and I didn’t necessarily feel ready for the discomfort of the third trimester, but I always tried to remind myself of the blessing you were and would continue to be, because you were and still are a gift from God.

Now, nearly seven weeks since your heart stopped beating and a little more than a month since you were born, we hold on to the promise that we will meet you alive in Christ in Heaven someday. We held your earthly body after your physical birth, the true beauty of which was veiled by the curse of this world, but on that day when Jesus takes us home too, we will meet you adorned in the beauty and life with which you were created, and we press on toward that day with great hope. In the meantime, God has much more to do with us, much of which is related to ministry opportunities of which we probably never would have heard if we had not lost you. I hope you praise Him with us for these new opportunities and for the passion He has given us in preparing to share the hope we have in this experience because of Him, which others who do not know Him so desperately need. Again, I love you, Emily, and I look forward to meeting and embracing you in the wonder of Heaven’s glory.